Sunday, October 28, 2007

What's A Wigger???

(Big Dan in a "Wigger jacket"...whatever that is!!!)

I hate shopping! But it's getting colder out, and I wanted to get some hoodies. I like hoodies. Why am I talking like George Bush??? Anyway, my wife and I went shopping for hoodies. They're cheap and I like them. And they keep me warm. But I'm picky with hoodies...I want a hoodie with big pockets so my things don't fall out of my pockets when I get in and out of the car. I hate hoodies where my things fall out of my pockets! So, we go to JCPenneys up da mall. Did I tell you I hate shopping? Did I also tell you I have no clothes sense? I don't care what clothes look like, as long as they're cheap! So, I'm looking at hoodies, and they all have those tiny pockets where my things are going to fall out. Here we go again! I was thinking... I don't want my things falling out of my pockets! So, I'm looking around and looking around, and what do I see? A hoodie with zipper pockets! I'm getting it! Now there's a company that's thinking! Let's get out of here! I got a hoodie!

So, I get home and my daughter's there. I'm so proud I actually bought a piece of clothing! So, I say, "Hey, Little De! I bought a hoodie! Wanna see it?"

I put it on, and she burst out laughing! She can't stop laughing!

"What's so funny?", I said indignantly.

She laughs out (barely) the sentence, still in hysterics, "THAT'S A WIGGER JACKET!!!"

I, of course, ask, "What's a Wigger jacket? I like this hoodie because it has zipper pockets, so my things don't fall out! That's why I bought it! That's all I care about! I took one look at this hoodie with zipper pockets, and I said to myself, 'Now there's a company that's thinking!"

Little De says, "Just put on the Wigger jacket, these shades, this gold necklace for bling bling, this skull cap hat (I like them too! What's wrong with them?), and I want to take 100 pictures of you while I'm laughing hysterically! It's going to be the wallpaper on my cellphone, my PC, everything! And give me some attitude, like 'You just jacked my ho'!"

"OK, but why? What's bling bling? Jacked my ho'? Are you speakin' another language? And what's a Wigger jacket? I don't get it! Should I return the hoodie?"

Litte De: "Nope! You just got your Halloween costume!"
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