Sunday, October 21, 2007

Surprise; GOP Sen. Brownback Pulls Out Of '08 Presidential Bid

'08 GOP candidates expressed "surprise" and "shock" at GOP Senator Sam Brownback's announcement of abandoning his presidential bid. The Senator's announcement was held in front of a crowd of 7, including his wife Mary and 5 children. No one knew who the other guy was, but he's been following Brownback around even before he was running for president, and Brownback is in the process of acquiring a stalking restraining order against him.

Rudy Giuliani: "I'm surprised at Sam's announcement. I didn't know he was running for president! Was he in the debates with us?"

Mitt Romney: "I'm shocked! Brownback was running for president? I didn't know that! I bet he was that guy always at the end podium in the debates! I was wondering who that was!"

John McCain: "Who's Sam Brownback??? Is he a Republican???"

Ron Paul: "I was right! I was telling someone the other day, that there was someone running named "Brown-something"...

Mike Huckabee: "Good! I'll be the only GOP candidate with a weird last name! Voters were saying, "I'm voting for that Republican with the weird last name", and I never knew if they were talking about me or Brownback!"

Senator Brownback stated that the reason for his pulling out of the race was due to lack of campaign funds. His campaign has raised $127.10 so far...and used $55 of it: $20 for his taxi ride to his campaign pull-out announcement and $35 to rent the podium from which he made the announcement.

In a recent CNN poll of likely Republican voters, Brownback finished with 0%...finishing behind perennial write-in "joke" candidate Gary Coleman with 3%. The stalker claims he is a "huge Sam Brownback fan", and voted for him in the CNN poll...and was extremely disappointed at Brownback's announcement.
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