Monday, October 15, 2007

Rightwing Pundits, Republicans, and Evangelicals In Uproar Over Erotic Trees, Vegetables, and Rock Formations

Rightwing pundits, Republicans, and evangelicals, are in an uproar over trees, vegetables, and rock formations they say are "erotic." Scientists say these are natural formations and anything beyond that is politicizing.

Michelle Malkin, says this about the following photo: "This tree had a choice. 250 years ago, it chose to spread it's trunks in a manner which is offensive to patriotic Americans. This tree should be chopped down."

Rush Limbaugh had this to say about the following photograph: "Do you think the liberals didn't genetically alter these carrots? Ahmedinejhad is proud of these carrots, and if Hitler were alive, he'd be proud too! These carrots are against the troops and should be destroyed! The drive-by media isn't covering this story!"

Bill O'Reilly says this about the next photo: "This is sick! It makes the 'War On Christmas' and the 'War On Easter' look like minor skirmishes! Democrats, terrorists, homosexuals, atheists, and Hillary and Pelosi enjoy scaling this formation. It is offensive to patriotic Americans, and should be blown up, or at least the tip should be cut off."

Sean Hannity's thoughts on the "Larry Craig Trees": "These trees should be cut down. They portray an unnatural act of homosexuality. God-fearing patriotic Americans want these trees destroyed."

Ann Coulter says about this next picture: "Not only are these cacti lewd, but they provide distracting cover to illegal alien Mexicans crossing our desert borders. Muslims love these cacti, too."

William Kristol in an interview on FOX "news" said this about these next photos: "If these pictures aren't enough proof that Iran has nuclear weapons and we should bomb them, then you love Hitler! We have the evangelicals picketting in front of all of these natural formations in unnatural poses. And Republicans are proposing legislation to either destroy these formations or bring John Ashcroft out of retirement to cover them up."

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