Revealed! Roger Clemens Is Coaching Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton says she "mis-spoke", when she said she was under sniper fire on her 1996 trip to Bosnia. Hmmmm... "mis-spoke", where have I heard that type of terminology before?

Roger Clemens and Karl Rove!! Of course!

In yet another exclusive mis-interview, Big Dan speaks with the King of Steroids, Roger Clemens:

bd: We're here with Roger Clemens because of 2 events today, the opening of baseball season in Japan, and rumors of Hillary Clinton being coached by Roger Clemens. Roger, the Red Sox beat the Oakland A's in Japan 6-5 to open up the season.

rc: Yes, bd, and being a former Red Sock...is that the singular of Red Sox???...I think it was a mis-take to have opening day in Japan. It's mis-American.

bd: Hillary Clinton used the word "mis-spoke" today to explain her 1996 Bosnia trip, in which she claimed she was under sniper fire. I immediately thought of your testimony in front of Congress, when you used the words "mis-remembered" and "mis-heard", referring to Andy Pettitte's affidavit.

rc: I know where you're going with this, bd, and it's true; Karl Rove and I have been coaching, or should I say "mis-coaching", Hillary Clinton. Ya got me...us! (laughs) Karl said that it was beautiful when she said "mis-spoke", he had a tear well up in his eye, I think it was his right eye.

bd: I thought it used to be called "lying"...

rc: Naw! Nobody lies anymore! They "mis-speak", "mis-hear", "mis-remember", "mis-recall", 'n stuff like that...

bd: So, is Roger Clemens going to play baseball this year?

rc: I plan to miss the first half of the season shooting cellular telephone commercials, I'll probably miss the all-star game, and then I'll miss my family when I pitch the second half of the year for the Yankees. I'm really gonna miss my family!

bd: I know you're in a hurry, thanks for stopping by...

rc: It's been a mis-pleasure...

Below: Hillary Clinton "mis-speaking":

Karl Rove Recruits Roger Clemens for Bush Administration

(Karl Rove "intrigued" by Clemens' "mis-remembered" and "mis-heard" remarks...)

("Listen to me now...and "mis-hear" me later...)

7-time Cy Young Award-winning Major League Baseball player Roger Clemens testified about his alleged steroid use in Congressional hearings on Wednesday before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, chaired by Henry Waxman (D-CA). Big Dan of "Big Dan's Big Blog" sits down with Bush administration strategist Karl Rove, about the hearings...

bd: Karl, how do you describe Roger Clemen's testimony in front of the House Committee on Oversight?

Rove: Masterful! Absolutely masterful! In fact, we are now recruiting Roger for a position in the Bush administration!

bd: Why is that?

Rove: Did you see the way Roger "the Dodger"...I've been calling him "the Dodger" because of the way he dodged questions...displayed total arrongance, while telling lies, contradictions, and hanging his best friend, Andy Pettitte, out to dry? At times, I forgot whether Clemens was on trial here, or the committee was on trial!

bd: There had to be a key moment for you...

Rove: When he was talking about Andy Pettitte's affidavit stating that Roger told him he did steroids, Roger said...I'm almost too choked up to say it..."Andy 'mis-remembered'"! I had tears in my eyes when he said that!

bd: "Mis-remembered"? Is that a word?

Rove: Who cares! Even I never thought of that one! Roger made Alberto Gonzales' "I can't recall" strategy "quaint"! "Mis-remembered"? I'm not even sure how to spell it or if there's a hyphen in it!

bd: I don't know how to spell it either.

Rove: But that's not all. What really did it was when he later said about Andy Pettitte's statements, "My friend 'mis-heard'". (tears well up in Rove's eyes) That did it! The hearings weren't even over, and I had my guys over there signing up Clemens for the Bush administration. He displays all the GOP qualities of confidentally lying to everyone's face and not batting any eyelash...all while not getting in trouble for anything! Mis-heard...SHEER GENIUS!!!!! There was one point, where he used both words in the statement, ""I think Andy has misheard, I think he misremembers of our conversation." ...and I fainted. I mean I really fainted!

bd: Karl, when you say "I'm recruiting Roger Clemens for the Bush administration", I thought you officially stepped down and are supposedly a civilian now.

Rove: Well, I like to think of another famous baseball figure, when you say..."step down" (lol). And that man is Earl Weaver! Remember when Earl Weaver used to get thrown out of baseball games all the time when he managed the Baltimore Orioles? And the TV cameras would show him smoking cigarettes in the runway near the dugout...still coaching the team? That's the kind of "step down" I'm referring to...

bd: Thank you, Karl, for being on Big Dan's Big Blog.

Rove: It's been a mis-pleasure...


Alberto Gonzales said "I Don't Recall" 74 times during one short hearing!

Red Sox Sweep Rockies For World Series Victory! (and have 2 happy-ending cancer-survivor stories)

BD: This is a picture of the Red Sox' Jon Papelbon, who came in at the end of every game and got the Rockies out...while I was biting my nails! I think Papelbon should've gotten the World Series MVP. He had several multi-inning saves. When he came in, the games were over! How great is it, to rely on a closer like that in the World Series? Papelbon is the best closer in major league baseball! HE DIDN'T GIVE UP ANY RUNS THE ENTIRE WORLD SERIES! But I'm not going to argue with their pick of Mike Lowell as MVP. The Red Sox have 2 cancer survivors: John Lester and Mike Lowell. Lester won the deciding game, and Lowell was the WS MVP. My wife had cancer, and it's nice to see 2 happy-ending cancer survivor stories like Jon Lester and Lowell, read below...

Jason Stark: This Time The Red Sox Bulldozed Their Way To Title

23 Year Old Red Sox Pitcher, Cancer Survivor, Wins Deciding Game

...and OTHER Red Sox Cancer Survivor Mike Lowell Wins World Series MVP! Talk About Happy Endings!

Red Sox Nation In Heaven !!!

My favorite baseball team is in the World Series again! I've loved the Red Sox ever since I could walk and talk, we live in Pa. but my son goes to Northeastern University in Boston...right next to Fenway Park...YEP! We are part of Red Sox Nation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feel free to post your thoughts on the World Series, your favorite team, how the Indians folded, how the Philles folded, anything about baseball!!!

In a side-note, let's hope the Boston police don't murder any college students celebrating the Red Sox World Series like they did in 2004!

Big Dan's Big News Oct 21, 2007

Media Keeping Wraps On Air Force Mutiny?

9/11 Truthers Disrupt Bill Maher Show

Over 1,000 comments under HuffPo's Maher/911 Article

Brad Blog On Maher/911

PBS's Bill Moyers on Blackwater

Bush Could Bypass New Torture Ban

Latest from the Colbert Report

Oberman Points Out Disgraceful Limbaugh Video of Michael J. Fox (7 min video)

Limbaugh's Smear of 12-yr-old SCHIP Graeme Frost

Why Did The Foreclosure Crisis catch 'Experts' By Surprise?

Housing/Credit Problems Wreaking Chaos On Wall St.

Bush To Build Iraq/Iran Fence...not U.S./Mexico Fence!

Oral Roberts University Facing Huge Scandal

Tough Going For Anti-War Republicans

Comcast Blocking Customers' Internet Traffic

Syria Shuts Main Exit From Iraqi Refugees

Religious 1-2 Punch Help Red Sox Force Game 7

After being down 3 games to 1 in their best-of-seven series with the Cleveland Indians, the Boston Red Sox trounced the Indians 12-2 and tied the series 3-3, thanks to the Lord and Kevin Youkilis; one of only three Jewish players in baseball.

Winning pitcher Curt Shilling, in a post game interview, thanked "the Lord" for helping him pitch 7 strong innings, giving up only 2 runs.

Schilling: "I thank the Lord for the win, and forcing a game 7."

Reporter: "Does the Lord hate the Cleveland Indians?"

Schilling: "I'm just thanking the Lord for the victory."

Reporter: "What about the Cleveland Indians. Did the Lord want them to lose?"

Schilling: "Well, no one's ever asked me that question before after I've thanked the Lord, but I guess I'm forced to say...'YES', the Lord must hate the Cleveland Indians. Or they would've won, right? I never thought about that!"

Reporter: "Why did the Lord make you lose 3 of the first 4 games?" (Schilling walks away from reporter)

Cleveland Indians starting pitcher Fausto Carmona gave up a 2-out grand slam to the Red Sox J.D. Drew in the first inning.

Carmona: "I loaded the bases with no outs, then got out the next two batters. I thought I was going to get out of the inning without any runs...if Jesus didn't make me give up that grand slam to J.D. Drew!"

Youkilis, also known as the "Greek God of Walks" for drawing a tremendous amount of walks, was in the middle of controversy every time he was on base. He smacked a ball off of Fenway Park's "Green Monster" left field wall and knocked in a run, but was caught in a run-down between first and second base. During the run-down, Youkilis head-butted the ball from the Indian players throwing the ball back and forth, and slid back into first base and was called safe. Head-butting the baseball is illegal; Youkilis has denied the allegations, claiming the Cleveland secondbaseman "purposely" hit him in the head with the ball. The Youkilis head-butt of the baseball was a key play in keeping the Red Sox 6-run 3rd inning alive.

Huge Red Sox fan Dennis Leary told Jon Stewart on the Daily Show that Youkilis was a "sneaky ballplayer" and "walked a lot...no reflection on your people."

Bug Spray Giant "OFF!" Rushes Emergency Commercial During Yankees/Indians Game

After seeing a swarm of millions of "midges" attack the players and umpires during last night's Yankees/Indians playoff game, the bug spray giant "OFF!" rushed an emergency commercial on the air during the first commercial break.

"OFF!" flew in retired baseball legend Cal Ripken to the studios on their corporate jet, and reeled off a commercial which featured Cal Ripken at a high school reunion, and one of his former classmates says, "So, Cal, what have you been doing since you're retired?" Cal replies: "Well, I'll tell you what I HAVEN'T been doing; I HAVEN'T been getting swarmed by MIDGES...since I've been using 'OFF!' brand bug spray!"

//http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21157338/

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2007/10/05/4554384-ap.html