Mitt Romney's son Tagg Romney On Twitter TWITS: "GROOVY! AFTER THE BIG TED NUGENT & KID ROCK ENDORSEMENTS, MY DAD JUST SCORED TWO OTHER SUPER POP STARS: OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN & DICK CLARK!!!!!!! HOW COOL IS THAT?"

(in light of Tagg Romney informing us via TWITTER of his father's big endorsements like Ted Nugent and Kid Rock, here are some other out of touch with reality TWITS we might expect from the TWITSTER)

TAGG ROMNEY TWEETS: "HOW COOL IS IT THAT TED NUGENT ENDORSED MY DAD!!! What could possibly go wrong with having TED NUGENT the MOTOR CITY MADMAN in the TEAM ROMNEY MORMON CAMP? I MEAN BESIDES HIM RECENTLY BEING INVESTIGATED BY THE FBI FOR THREATENING THE PRESIDENT AND ALSO SAYING HE'S A 'BLACK JEW AT A NAZI-KLAN RALLY'. I THINK HE'S A CHRISTIAN!!!"

On the heels of the big endorsements from the gun-toting draft-dodging patriotic chickenhawk American hero, "Motor City Madman", media character, NRA spokesman, and former lousy 1970's guitarist TED NUGENT and his fellow motor city WHITE RAPPER madman KID ROCK endorsements:

...TWIGG PALIN...OOPS! I MEAN TAGG ROMNEY (TWIGG, TAGG, SORRY, GOT 'EM MIXED UP!) TWEETS: "MY DAD JUST PICKED UP AN ENDORSEMENT FROM POP STAR AND MOVIE STAR OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN FROM THE MUSICAL MOVIE 'GREASE'!!!!!!! I THINK SHE'S AGAINST BIRTH CONTROL AND FOR STATE MANDATED TRANS-VAGINAL ULTRASOUNDS! GROOVY!"

The above picture of Olivia Newton-John is from the film "GREASE" from the 1970's. She wouldn't agree to letting anyone take a present day picture of her, but barring any facelifts and botox treatments, here is an artist's pencil sketch rendering of what she might look like:

Tagg Romney on Twitter TWITS other recent HUGE Romney endorsements:

LARRY THE CABLE GUY

TAGG ROMNEY TWEETS: "POPS JUST PICKED UP AN ENDORSEMENT FROM 'LARRY THE CABLE GUY'! I THINK HE'S A COMEDIAN! DAD IS REALLY GONNA 'GIT-R-DONE'! GET IT?"

MARILYN MANSON

TAGG ROMNEY TWEETS: "WHEN I'M NOT LISTENING TO TED NUGENT OR KID ROCK OR PAT BOONE ON MY RECORD PLAYER, I'M MOST DEFINITELY LISTENING TO MARILYN MANSON RECORDS! AND GUESS WHAT? GROOVY TO THE MAX! MARILYN MANSON JUST ENDORSED MY DAD!!! WE HAVE ALL HIS VINYL ALBUMS! I THINK PAT BOONE ALSO ENDORSED POPS! OH BOY! MARILYN MANSON AND PAT BOONE, I WONDER WHO ALICE COOPER IS ENDORSING? AREN'T ALL THESE GUYS FROM IN OR AROUND DETROIT? WEIRD!!!"

ABE VIGODA

TAGG ROMNEY TWEETS: "CAT'S PAJAMAS! MY DAD JUST GOT ENDORSED BY ABE VIGODA, 1970'S STAR OF THE COMEDY SERIES 'FISH', 'BARNEY MILLER', AND 'WOJOHOWITZ'! I THOUGHT HE WAS DEAD! BUT HERE HE IS ENDORSING MY DAD LIKE ALL THE OTHER COOL POP STARS AND MOVIE STARS!"

(ABE VIGODA UPDATE TWEET FROM TAGG ROMNEY): "ABE VIGODA IS NOT DEAD. I JUST DOUBLE-CHECKED ON WIKIPEDIA. AND ANYWAYS HOW COULD HE ENDORSE POP IF HE WAS DEAD?")

(ABE VIGODA UPDATE TWEET II FROM TAGG ROMNEY): "ABE VIGODA MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN ON 'WOJOHOWITZ', DOUBLE-CHECKING, STAY TUNED!!!. I'M GOING INTO WIKIPEDIA! OH, AND NOT SURE IF HE'S ALIVE! I'LL CHECK THAT, TOO, WHILE I'M IN WIKIPEDIA!...I KNOW HE WAS ON 'FISH'. IF I DON'T TWEET ABOUT ABE VIGODA AGAIN, THAT MEANS HE WAS ON 'WOJOHOWITZ & HE'S NOT DEAD, COOL!!!")

DICK CLARK

TAGG ROMNEY TWEETS: "THERE'S SOME DEBATE AS TO WHETHER ABE VIGODA IS ALIVE OR DEAD (AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON RICH LITTLE). CHECK MY 'ABE VIGODA' LABEL ON TWITTER, IF YOU WANT TO CHIME IN ON THE ABE VIGODA ALIVE/DEAD DEBATE. BUT I KNOW FOR SURE THIS NEXT LEGEND IS DEFINITELY ALIVE AND ROCKIN'!!! LET'S SEE YOU TOP THIS ONE MR PRESIDENT: DAD JUST PICKED UP A HUGE ENDORSEMENT FROM NONE OTHER THAN POP STAR AND MOVIE STAR DICK CLARK FROM 'BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE'!!! HE'S THAT NEW YEARS EVE GUY, TOO! STICK THAT IN YOUR PIPE AND SMOKE IT, OBAMA! 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1: HAPPY NEW ENDORSEMENT! COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

RICH LITTLE

TAGG ROMNEY TWEETS: "IF YOU THINK MY DAD'S A SQUARE, TAKE A LOOK AT WHO JUST ENDORSED HIM: COMEDIAN RICH LITTLE! POP IS A REAL HIPSTER WITH THIS ONE!"

TIM TEBOW

TAGG ROMNEY TWEETS: "MY DAD JUST KICKED A BIG HOME RUN THIS TIME: CHRISTIAN BALL STAR TIM TEBOW ENDORSED MY DAD!!! HE SCORES A LOT OF GOALS FOR GUESS WHO: THE YANKEES! I HEARD HE KNEELS TO GOD WHEN HE SCORES! COOL! HE SETS A GOOD EXAMPLE FOR THE OTHER BALL STARS!"

INTERVIEW WITH THE ROMNEY SONS:

MITT: YOU'RE THE ONE THAT I WANT -




Tough guy patriot Ted Nugent LITERALLY crapped his pants, when his draft number came up::




Crank this one up to 11: the immortal Terry Kath on the lead guitar WAH WAH -

(AGAIN: AS LOUD AS POSSIBLE PLEASE)



Ummm...methinks TERRY KATH is a little better than Ted Nugent:

Random funny videos:

Happy Birthday Ed

Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. We went to get an ice cream cake at Carvel, but their prices were too outrageous. I was wondering when they're going out of business with those high prices. After seeing those prices, my daughter suggested we go to Wal Mart Super Store in Wilkes-Barre because they also sell ice cream cakes. She was joking that they sometimes still have Halloween ice cream cakes left over at a discount, and wouldn't it be funny if her birthday cake had a ghost or a pumpkin on it. Hey, we're a funny family, the apples don't fall far from the tree.

So, we're looking around at Wal Mart in the see-through ice cream cake cooler and my daughter starts laughing and says, "Look at this cake! It says, "Happy Birthday Ed" on it:

But it was for sale with all the other cakes at full price, even though it said, "Happy Birthday Ed" on it! I said to the lady baker behind the counter, "Hey, this cake says 'Happy Birthday Ed' on it and it's full price, can I have some money off if I buy it?" I was thinking, who cares if it says 'Ed' on it? I'll eat the word 'Ed' off it. The woman says, "You better ask a manager". I said, "Either a manager better give a discount on this cake, or you better hope someone named 'Ed' buys it!!!"

Then my daughter yells over to me, "Hey, the seal's broken on the cake", and opens up the cake. So, this cake must've been opened and returned. Who returns an ice cream cake?

Then my daughter says, "Hey, there's a bite out of it!!!"

In the upper left corner, I don't know if you can see it clearly (I took these pictures with my cell phone), there's a bite out of the cake. Creepy: notice how the word "Ed" is different and soaking into the cake. I go to the lady behind the counter, "Hey, there's a bite out of this cake!" She was getting angry with us. By this time we were laughing hysterically! Let's recap: Wal Mart has an obviously returned ice cream cake out on the floor for sale (full price) that says, "Happy Birthday Ed" on it with a bite out of it! Now that I see there's a bite out of it, I definitely don't want it, even at a discount! My daughter says I should go back to the car, take a picture of the cake, and put it on my blog. I did that, but on the way back in, I was hoping I didn't come back and the lady had had it with us and took the cake and then I couldn't get a picture of it. But there was my daughter standing there with the cake laughing. And here are the pictures of the "Happy Birthday Ed" cake with the bite out of it...on sale for full price.

Now this does get better and funnier: we are still laughing, in fact I said I may have to call an ambulance if I can't stop laughing. We pull out of Wal Mart and are going onto Interstate 81...

...then we see this guy in front of us: (cell phone pictures, please!!!)

(look at the rake, does it rake every other leaf???)

I go to my daughter, "Holy shit! It's the Beverly Hillbillies!!!" There's a 1970 Chevy pickup truck in front of us, full of rust, packed more than twice the height of the pickup truck is a bunch of total junk with a huge tarp over it! Sticking out the left side is a rake with half the spokes missing out of it, and sticking out the right of the junk is a useless broom with all the bristles bent up. I start singing the theme to the Beverly Hillbillies (with banjo vocals). My daughter is manning the cell phone and gets this picture as we pull along side of the pickup truck going down I-81:

At this point, my daughter says, "I think we found 'Ed'." (remember the Happy Birthday Ed cake?) I am proud of my daughter for thinking of that one, I wish I had thought of that. Now, as we pass "Ed", what are the odds that he is a peddidle? (padiddle means one of your headlights is out - look it up!)

The odds are 100% that "Ed" is a padiddle (Ed is on the left with the headlight out):

Happy Birthday Ed:

Update: I forgot to say, I'm unemployed right now and I've been trying to sell a 2nd house I own. When I told my son this story (he's in Boston), he said, "I take it you didn't sell the house yet, if you're trying to buy a cake that says 'Happy Birthday Ed' on it". We're a pretty funny bunch, except for my wife. But she's 100% German, so she gets a pass on the funny gene.



Please see my other real life food related incident:

"Coiffure de fromage"; The Famous Hairy Burger King "Fish" Sandwich

I never thought I'd have another post like that...until this happened!!!


Check out my other posts labelled "funny".

Don't worry, I'll put out a "normal" post later...........

Indianapolis Colts officially rename team: "PEYTON MANNING"

Since everyone refers to the Indianapolis Colts as "Peyton Manning" - IE: the Eagles are playing Peyton Manning, Peyton Manning beat the Giants, etc...and since no one else on the Colts matters and they are in any game as long as Peyton Manning is their quarterback and it doesn't matter who else is injured, traded, waived, cut, drafted - Colts ownership has decided...FUCK IT!!! We're just going to call the Indianapolis Colts "PEYTON MANNING", everyone refers to us as "PEYTON MANNING" anyway!!!

Philadelphia Eagles Beat Peyton Manning

Next up for Peyton Manning: the Cincinnati Bengals!!! Peyton Manning should have no trouble beating the Cincinnati Bengals. Peyton Manning still sits atop the AFC South division, tied with the Tennessee Titans with a 5-3 record.

New Orleans Saints defeat Peyton Manning in Super Bowl:

Summer Means Oldies Tours

Summer is here and that means oldies bands get together to tour so we can all get that nostalgic feeling of yesteryear: music of the 50's, 60's, and 70's. A staple band in these tours is the Four Tops. They had a slew of hits beginning in the early 60's such as "I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)" and "Reach Out I'll Be There".

But oldies bands now face a dilemma of having to change their names due to deaths of original band members, legalities and just plain old accuracy.

Big Dan interviews the Four Top's lead singer Levi Stubbs:

Big Dan: So, tell us about the new names of the oldies bands we've known for years, Levi.

Stubbs: Well, Big Dan, as you know, most of these bands have been around for decades and they're undergone many changes over the years. To cut to the chase, many band members have flat out died of old age. But we keep chugging along, and the people are nostalgic and still want to hear the old tunes done live. They love us!

Big Dan: The name changes, can you tell us about some of them?

Stubbs: Some people claim it's misleading to keep the same band name if members have died or moved on, especially bands with numbers in their names, or the band name has a person's name in it, and that person isn't in the band anymore. They have a point.

Big Dan: Can you give us an example?

Stubbs: Take our band, for instance, "The Four Tops". One of our orignal members died a while back, and some fans were saying, "You aren't the original 'Four Tops', what a ripoff!" So, for legal purposes such as not giving them their money back, our band changed the name to, "The Three Tops". We were thinking of changing it to a catch-all name like, "The Surviving Tops" so we won't have to change it if another one of us dies, to "The Two Tops".

Big Dan: What about bands with people's names in it, and that person isn't in the band anymore, like say "J. Geils Band" joined the oldies tour and J. Geils wasn't in the band?

Stubbs: Well, we do have that case in this tour, funny you mention it. The band Santana is with us, but Santana isn't in the band. In fact, only Santana's lead singer is in the band. They call themselves, "Santana's Lead Singer". Some bands like "The Who" add national characters after their name. They sang "I hope I die before I get old", and the band "The Who?????" are made up of the members that got old before they died.

Big Dan: What are the band names in this year's tour?

Stubbs: Before I give you the list, I'd just like to drive home the point that if people ask for their money back, they ain't gettin' it this year! We've complied with these band name changes. Here's this year's tour's lineup, and as a special treat this year, it will be MC'd by "The Odd Person", one of the original "Odd Couple"...and remember, Rock On, everybody:

● The Three Tops
● Dave Clark's 4 out of 5
● The Pip
● The Supreme
● The Monkee
● A Hermit
● The Turtle, The Cowsill, The Grass Root, and The Zombie (combo band)
● The Beach Boy
● The Kingston Duo
● Chad's Younger Brother
● The Associate
● The Mysterian
● A Momma and an acquaintance of one of the Papa's
● Some of Bill Haley's Comets
● The Pacemakers (they really have Pacemakers now!)
● The Letterman
● A Guy Who Sounds Like Bobby Darin
● Peter, Paul, and Brittany
● The Venture
● Chuck Berry's Great Grandson
● , , Nash and nobody
● ...and Garfunkel
● The 3 Seasons
● The 4th Dimension
● 2 Dog Night
● 5cc
● Ohio Player
● Stick
● Santana's Lead Singer
● Half A Century After
● The Grateful Not Dead Yet
● The Who?????
● The Guess Who!!!!!
● Jethro Tull's Keyboard Player
● Pat Travers Band Member
● Alan Parson's Bass Player's Project
● Talking Head
● The Silver Bullett E Street Heartbreakers (combo: members of Bob Seger, Bruce Springsteen, and Tom Petty's backup bands)

Republicans To Retire Watt's Jersey at Convention

2002: The last black Republican, J.C. Watts.

At the September 1, 2008 Republican National Convention in Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota later this year, the GOP plans to mark the 6-year anniversary of having zero black Republicans by hanging J.C. Watt's jersey from the rafters. Watt's retired in 2002 as the last black Republican.

Watts was selected in 1997 to deliver the Republican response to President Bill Clinton's State of the Union Address. During the speech, Watts chastised some black Democrats and civil rights leaders as "race-hustling poverty pimps", whose careers he said depend on keeping blacks dependent on the government.

Since Watt's retirement as the last black Republican in 2002, he's recently stated, "Not only aren't there any black race-hustling poverty pimps in our party, but there aren't any blacks in our party!"

Part of the reason the Republicans are retiring Watt's jersey at the RNC convention, is because their "rent-a-black-guy" that usually goes to all their conventions fell ill this year, and they need at least one black guy there, to show from different camera angles and sit in the front, to make it appear that there are numerous black people at the RNC convention. In an interview, John McCain said, "Do me a favor, and please don't tell Slick Watts that!" Reporter: "Slick Watts was a basketball player for the Seattle SuperSonics in the 1970's, this is JC Watts."

Rush Limbaugh Torpedo's Dan Meuser in Pa. 10th

Don't fergit ta buy yer "Operation Chaos" stuff from $285-millionaire oxycontin-poppin' Rush Limburr!!!

Rush Limbaugh's "Operation Chaos", which urged Republican voters to switch their registration to Democrat so they could vote in Hillary Clinton, has caused Republican Dan Meuser to lose to Republican Chris Hackett in an (until now) unexplainable loss in the Republican primary for Pennsylvania's 10th District. News is coming in, that all these unexplained Republican losses across Pennsylvania can be attributed to Limbaugh's "Operation Chaos".

Operation Chaos Republican voters showed up to polls in the 10th district and did what they were told by their leader Rush Limbaugh, and voted for Hillary Clinton. THEN...when they went to vote for Republican Dan Meuser, they realized that when they switched registration, they weren't allowed to vote in the Republican primary, which was really more important to them and is really what they wanted to do.

It was noted, that there was a direct correlation between the number of unforeseen Republican losses and Hillary Clinton's victory, turning the Republican Party of Pennsylvania into...CHAOS! The Republican Party of Pennsylvania states that blame can be solely placed upon the shoulders of Rush Limbaugh for these unpredicted outcomes of Republican races across the state. And blame can also be placed with the stupid "Operation Chaos" particpant voters.

Right: two "Dittohead" Operation Chaos Republican voters, brothers Jeb 'n Jeb Babaweenie.

Jeb: Howz cum we coudun't vote fer Don Muzik??? Rush Limburr left out duh part dat we coodun't vote fer Don Muzik!!!

The Other Jeb: Yeah! He dun went 'n not told us dat...'n stuff...we iz mad! Me 'n Jeb went 'n jest voted fer Hillry 'n we hate her!

(Of course, Rush Limbaugh may have orders to make all this shit up, to explain the mass exodus of Republican voters to the Democratic Party, though!)

Obama Loves Hitler!

"Ted Kennedy endorsed Obama; Ted Kennedy is Catholic; the Pope is Catholic; the Pope was in Hitler's Youth Program; therefore ---> Obama loves Hitler!





Hillary can still win the Democratic nomination, watch! (from BlueBear)



Hillary met with the FATHER of purposely misleading rightwing media: Richard Mellon Scaife! (h/t 99)




● …speaking of Hitler: GOP candidate Zirkle addresses Nazi gathering

Look at that guy!!!
He's going for the "OverThrow.com" Crowd!!! "Heil, Zirkle!!!"

Exclusive: Chinese Guy Who Keeps Putting Lead In Everything, Finally Caught

Above: Fu Kiu finally caught!

The man responsible for lead in products imported from China, everything from childrens toys to lunch boxes, has finally been aprehended. Asked why he did it, he said, "Because I have lots of lead."

It was revealed, that Fu Kiu met with the heads of Chinese sweat shops, and talked them into adding lead to everything. He said it would "make their products better"...and he "had lots of lead." No one knows why they listened to him.

Fu Kiu recently started a campaign with these sweatshops to add antifreeze in toothpaste. He told them that your "teeth wouldn't freeze in the winter." No one knows why they listened to him for that, either.

Before his apprehension, Fu Kiu was last seen lacing marijuana with lead. Upon his arrest, Fu Kiu stated that he still has lots of lead.

Further, he stated, "Fu Kiu want to be like big American businessman and make lots of money selling crap like lead."

General Petraeus Inks Deal With Subway Subs

"Mr. Speaker, the Iraq War is 'this big'..................."

Because of General Petraeus's now-famous picture of him holding his hands apart during his Iraq War testimony in front of congress, Subway subs has inked Petraeus to a lucrative deal for their recent "Foot Long For Five Dollars" ad campaign.

Jared from Subway subs: "I'm looking forward to a 'surge' in our sales of Subway foot long subs."

Real Celebrex Commercial

I was half asleep, and this commercial was playing. I thought it was one of those funny Saturday Night Live commercials, then I realized it was a real commercial! It's one big, long disclaimer with soothing music playing in the background...while they're telling you that you may die taking Celebrex! I was hysterically laughing by the time it was finished!

I swear to god! In one spot, it says, "May Cause Death"!!! What the hell does Celebrex do, anyway? Are these guys serious??? What ever Celebrex "fixes", I'd rather have the problem it fixes! YIKES!!! Maybe as you'er DYING from Celebrex...the music of the commercial will relax you... Then if you sue them for killing you, they'll say, "Didn't you see our scarey commercial warning you? You can't sue us!"

"But that wasn't scarey! There was happy music 'n people riding a bike 'n golfing...'n stuff!!!"

This definitley gets the award for the all-time funniest commercial!

Revealed! Roger Clemens Is Coaching Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton says she "mis-spoke", when she said she was under sniper fire on her 1996 trip to Bosnia. Hmmmm... "mis-spoke", where have I heard that type of terminology before?

Roger Clemens and Karl Rove!! Of course!

In yet another exclusive mis-interview, Big Dan speaks with the King of Steroids, Roger Clemens:

bd: We're here with Roger Clemens because of 2 events today, the opening of baseball season in Japan, and rumors of Hillary Clinton being coached by Roger Clemens. Roger, the Red Sox beat the Oakland A's in Japan 6-5 to open up the season.

rc: Yes, bd, and being a former Red Sock...is that the singular of Red Sox???...I think it was a mis-take to have opening day in Japan. It's mis-American.

bd: Hillary Clinton used the word "mis-spoke" today to explain her 1996 Bosnia trip, in which she claimed she was under sniper fire. I immediately thought of your testimony in front of Congress, when you used the words "mis-remembered" and "mis-heard", referring to Andy Pettitte's affidavit.

rc: I know where you're going with this, bd, and it's true; Karl Rove and I have been coaching, or should I say "mis-coaching", Hillary Clinton. Ya got me...us! (laughs) Karl said that it was beautiful when she said "mis-spoke", he had a tear well up in his eye, I think it was his right eye.

bd: I thought it used to be called "lying"...

rc: Naw! Nobody lies anymore! They "mis-speak", "mis-hear", "mis-remember", "mis-recall", 'n stuff like that...

bd: So, is Roger Clemens going to play baseball this year?

rc: I plan to miss the first half of the season shooting cellular telephone commercials, I'll probably miss the all-star game, and then I'll miss my family when I pitch the second half of the year for the Yankees. I'm really gonna miss my family!

bd: I know you're in a hurry, thanks for stopping by...

rc: It's been a mis-pleasure...

Below: Hillary Clinton "mis-speaking":

McCain's Chances Plummet From 50% to 0% After Bush Endorsement

(George W. Bush hopes to "pass the baton" to John McCain for, in essence, a third Bush term.........)

According to recent polling, John McCain stood a 50% chance of beating either Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton in a general election. After George W. Bush's endorsement of McCain, McCain's chances dropped from 50% to 0%.

A mathematics professor at the University of Pennsylvania: "We were actually coming up with a negative % chance of McCain winning, after Bush's endorsement. We calculated -5% chance, and it has our whole math department stumped, because we know it's not mathematically possible to have a negative percent chance of winning something. We had to round it up to 0%, according to the known laws of mathematics. We had no other choice..."

On the heels of endorsements from crazy Reverend Hagee who called the Catholic Church "the Great Whore" and now George W. Bush, others lining up to endorse John McCain are: Donald Rumsfeld (Iraq War/$3.2 trillion missing dollars), Jack Abramoff (K St. scandal, Indian gaming scandal, dresses like black SPY vs. SPY), "Duke" Cunningham (jail, stealing millions of taxpayer money), Paul Wolfowicz (Iraq War, getting girlfriend a high paying job at World Bank), John Bolton (neo-con nut with Captain Kangaroo mustache), Bob Ney (in jail, authored HAVA which is responsible for electronic voting machines), Tom Noe (prominent Republican contributor, in jail for "coingate"), "Scooter" Libby (outing American CIA agent; should be in jail but pardoned by George W. Bush), Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney (Halliburton no-bid contracts, energy task force, too much else to list...), Tom DeLay (jail, PAC problems, illegal golf fundraisers), Monica Goodling (DOJ scandal), Tom Frist (Terri Shiavo debacle), Chuck McGee (the New England Phone Jammer), Tom Scully (Medicare scandal), Armstrong Williams (conservative commentator secretly paid by the Bush administration to pimp the "No Child Left Behind", should be in jail for being a black conservative), Judith Miller (false WMD stories for the Bush admin), Tom Ridge (false terror alerts during 2004 Bush/Kerry campaign, told Americans to duct tape their houses cuz "terrorists r gonna gitcha!"...I have not received subsequent orders and still have my house duct-taped! help! i'm suffocating!), John Ashcroft (illegal campaign contributions, lost senate race to a dead guy), Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (refused to recuse himself from Dick Cheney's energy task force hearing, even though he duck hunts with Dick Cheney), Harry Whittington (guy Cheney shot in the face while duck hunting), Robert Novak (conservative columnist who outed CIA agent's identity), Richard Perle (resigned from Bush admin for conflict of interest charges, pimped Iraq War), and on and on and on and on...add your own in the comments to this post!

General Wallace: "I wasn't talking about that guy who threw a puppy off a cliff."

".............I wasn't talking about that guy..."

General Wallace said he wasn't talking about that marine who threw a puppy off a cliff, when he said on Monday March 3, that lowering the troop level requirements has not affected the quality of troops.

Reporter: General Wallace, just yesterday in an "Army Times" interview, you said that lowering the troop level requirements hasn't affected the quality of the troops, then on the same day, there's a video of a marine and his buddy, laughing and throwing a puppy off of a cliff.

General Wallace: Yeah, I wasn't talking about that guy. Did you know thousands of puppies get killed on highways each year? And you don't report THAT, do you? They were just blowing off some steam...

Reporter: Did you know that the amount of soldiers with high school diplomas has dropped to the lowest levels in 25 years since you lowered standards?

General Wallace: Well, statistics like that go up and down, up and down...it's just down right now, and it happens to be a coincidence that it coincides with the drop in recruitment requirements.

Reporter: According to a Rand report, “high-quality” recruits perform better on the battlefield and complete their missions more often. Can you talk about that report?

General Wallace: I can tell you one thing, a "Rand report" can't fight terrorists!

Reporter: Some experts are saying, that the Iraq War is wrecking our army...

General Wallace: You know who's wrecking the army? You people in the liberal media are wrecking the army! You hate the troops! You're trying to make us lose the war by reporting things! You want the terrorist to win, don't you?

Reporter: But that wasn't us. It was a video floating around the internet...

General Wallace: (General Wallace points behind the reporter...) What's that? LOOK OUT! (...General Wallace runs out of room when distracted reporter turns around...)

How Much Are Stamps?

I recently bought something that had a rebate, and I realized I didn't know how much stamps are. I haven't "snail-mailed" anything for a very VERY long time! I pay my bills on the internet, and I have no reason to send a letter to anyone.

If you don't know the price of a stamp, try finding it out! Short of walking into an actual post office and asking them. On a Sunday night, I don't want to be trying to find out how much a stamp is!

I found the tons of stamps we have, and I realized that we have many increments of stamp prices...PLUS I have no idea how much a current stamp is! I found tons of 1 cent, 3 cent, 37 cent, every increment you can think of.

BUT...the MOST stamps we had, were the type shown in the picture in this post. Notice something? THEY DON'T HAVE A PRICE ON THEM! We have an ENTIRE ROLL of these stamps! Maybe I'll take a vacation day from work, and figure this out...or stop buying things with rebates.......

I've come to this conclusion: you can't buy stamps anymore!

Lucky Press Happens To Be In Afghanistan, While Prince Harry Is Serving On The Front Lines

As bullets and missiles fly overhead, Britain's Prince Harry, above, enjoys a laugh as he sits with one of his "mates" from a group of Gurkha soldiers (or maybe an extra from The Wizard Of Oz or Time Bandits). The prince has just fired a machine gun from an observation post in Helmand province, Southern Afghanistan in January. The 23-year-old, an officer in the Household Cavalry regiment, has spent the past 10 weeks secretly serving in the volatile southern province.

While he was secretly serving on the front lines, a camera crew happened to be lost in the area for those exact same 10 weeks of his secret deployment on the front lines, and captured his every move on film. Miraculously, no one in the area, including the film crew, was hurt during this period of time, even though the famous Prince Harry was putting his fellow soldiers and the camera crew unnecessarily in harms way, due to his fame.

The "Drudge Report", a credible American news site, is said to have leaked Prince Harry's "secret" whereabouts on the front lines in Afghanistan. Prince Harry is shown below, playing hacky-sack with Matt Drudge of the "Drudge Report" in Afghanistan....trying their best to avoid mines and enemy fire on the front lines. Matt Drudge to Prince Harry: "Hey, Harry! Pass the hacky-sack ball to ME!"


Below: Prince Harry avoiding mines while riding his motorcycle that happens to be on the front lines in Afghanistan. "Gimme a push, there, Bub!" (Watch out for those mines, Harry!)

Prince Harry tells the Press Association about his mother Princess Diana, an outspoken anti-war activist, "Hopefully she would be proud of me, you know, shooting Arabs 'n stuff. Promoting war, 'n stuff like that."

Now that the story of Prince Harry being on the front lines in Afghanistan is "out in the open", the British Ministry of Propaganda has announced that, even though the heroic prince wants to stay, he must leave due to endangering his fellow soldiers. The other soldiers also wanted to go home because their lives were in danger simply by being there, but the requests were denied. Only Prince Harry can go home.

Below: Prince Harry & the film crew (reflected in his glasses).