Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Revealed! Roger Clemens Is Coaching Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton says she "mis-spoke", when she said she was under sniper fire on her 1996 trip to Bosnia. Hmmmm... "mis-spoke", where have I heard that type of terminology before?

Roger Clemens and Karl Rove!! Of course!

In yet another exclusive mis-interview, Big Dan speaks with the King of Steroids, Roger Clemens:

bd: We're here with Roger Clemens because of 2 events today, the opening of baseball season in Japan, and rumors of Hillary Clinton being coached by Roger Clemens. Roger, the Red Sox beat the Oakland A's in Japan 6-5 to open up the season.

rc: Yes, bd, and being a former Red Sock...is that the singular of Red Sox???...I think it was a mis-take to have opening day in Japan. It's mis-American.

bd: Hillary Clinton used the word "mis-spoke" today to explain her 1996 Bosnia trip, in which she claimed she was under sniper fire. I immediately thought of your testimony in front of Congress, when you used the words "mis-remembered" and "mis-heard", referring to Andy Pettitte's affidavit.

rc: I know where you're going with this, bd, and it's true; Karl Rove and I have been coaching, or should I say "mis-coaching", Hillary Clinton. Ya got me...us! (laughs) Karl said that it was beautiful when she said "mis-spoke", he had a tear well up in his eye, I think it was his right eye.

bd: I thought it used to be called "lying"...

rc: Naw! Nobody lies anymore! They "mis-speak", "mis-hear", "mis-remember", "mis-recall", 'n stuff like that...

bd: So, is Roger Clemens going to play baseball this year?

rc: I plan to miss the first half of the season shooting cellular telephone commercials, I'll probably miss the all-star game, and then I'll miss my family when I pitch the second half of the year for the Yankees. I'm really gonna miss my family!

bd: I know you're in a hurry, thanks for stopping by...

rc: It's been a mis-pleasure...

Below: Hillary Clinton "mis-speaking":

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