Wednesday, March 5, 2008

McCain's Chances Plummet From 50% to 0% After Bush Endorsement

(George W. Bush hopes to "pass the baton" to John McCain for, in essence, a third Bush term.........)

According to recent polling, John McCain stood a 50% chance of beating either Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton in a general election. After George W. Bush's endorsement of McCain, McCain's chances dropped from 50% to 0%.

A mathematics professor at the University of Pennsylvania: "We were actually coming up with a negative % chance of McCain winning, after Bush's endorsement. We calculated -5% chance, and it has our whole math department stumped, because we know it's not mathematically possible to have a negative percent chance of winning something. We had to round it up to 0%, according to the known laws of mathematics. We had no other choice..."

On the heels of endorsements from crazy Reverend Hagee who called the Catholic Church "the Great Whore" and now George W. Bush, others lining up to endorse John McCain are: Donald Rumsfeld (Iraq War/$3.2 trillion missing dollars), Jack Abramoff (K St. scandal, Indian gaming scandal, dresses like black SPY vs. SPY), "Duke" Cunningham (jail, stealing millions of taxpayer money), Paul Wolfowicz (Iraq War, getting girlfriend a high paying job at World Bank), John Bolton (neo-con nut with Captain Kangaroo mustache), Bob Ney (in jail, authored HAVA which is responsible for electronic voting machines), Tom Noe (prominent Republican contributor, in jail for "coingate"), "Scooter" Libby (outing American CIA agent; should be in jail but pardoned by George W. Bush), Dick "Go Fuck Yourself" Cheney (Halliburton no-bid contracts, energy task force, too much else to list...), Tom DeLay (jail, PAC problems, illegal golf fundraisers), Monica Goodling (DOJ scandal), Tom Frist (Terri Shiavo debacle), Chuck McGee (the New England Phone Jammer), Tom Scully (Medicare scandal), Armstrong Williams (conservative commentator secretly paid by the Bush administration to pimp the "No Child Left Behind", should be in jail for being a black conservative), Judith Miller (false WMD stories for the Bush admin), Tom Ridge (false terror alerts during 2004 Bush/Kerry campaign, told Americans to duct tape their houses cuz "terrorists r gonna gitcha!"...I have not received subsequent orders and still have my house duct-taped! help! i'm suffocating!), John Ashcroft (illegal campaign contributions, lost senate race to a dead guy), Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (refused to recuse himself from Dick Cheney's energy task force hearing, even though he duck hunts with Dick Cheney), Harry Whittington (guy Cheney shot in the face while duck hunting), Robert Novak (conservative columnist who outed CIA agent's identity), Richard Perle (resigned from Bush admin for conflict of interest charges, pimped Iraq War), and on and on and on and on...add your own in the comments to this post!

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