Sunday, December 9, 2007

Republican Presidential Candidate Mike Hucksterbee/Fuckabee's Reason For His Surge In The Polls...GOD!!!

During a visit to Liberty University, Jerry Falwell’s “madrasa” in Virginia, a student asks “President” Hucksterbee/Fuckabee what is behind his surge in the polls:

MIKE HUCKSTERBEE/FUCKABEE: There’s only one explanation for it, and it’s not a human one. It’s the same power that helped the little boy with two fish and five loaves feed a crowd of 5,000 people. And that’s the only way our campaign could be doing what it’s doing. I’m not being facetious, nor am I trying to be trite. There literally are thousands of people across this country who are praying that a little will become much. And it has. And it defies all explanation. It has confounded the pundits, and I’m enjoying every minute of their trying to figure it out. And until they look at it from an experience just beyond human they’ll never figure it out. And that’s probably just as well.

That’s honestly why it’s happening.

(bd: here's the part of the interview that should've happened next...)

Reporter: So, if you lose, does that mean the other candidate beat GOD?

MIKE HUCKSTERBEE/FUCKABEE: Umm...we'll cross that bridge when we come to it...

Reporter: Also, why doesn't GOD just run instead of YOU? Are you saying you're better than GOD? Also, does GOD want everyone else to lose? If so, why?

MIKE HUCKSTERBEE/FUCKABEE: Look over there, quick! (Mike Hucksterabee runs out the back while reporters look to where Hucksterabee was pointing to distract them...)

(Note: This is a participatory article YOU get to vote on! I could've used "Hucksterbee" or "Fuckabee", please vote for your favorite, in the poll at the top right! I will finalize the article after voting has completed! Pretend it says "Hucksterbee" in the poll, I mispelled it "Hucksterabee", and I can't change it once the voting began...sorry!)

UPDATE! On "dangerously crazy" Mike Hucksterbee/Fuckabee: GOP presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee said Sunday that he stands by the statement he made 15 years ago that AIDS patients should have been isolated.

UPDATE #2! The gift that keeps on giving! New Documents Revealed In Case Of Huckabee's Support For Freeing Rapist (bd: Our friend! Insane Mike Hucksterbee!)

UPDATE #3! Huckabee wants to ‘take this nation back for Christ.’

UPDATE #4! Huckabee Signed '98 Ad Urging Women to 'Graciously Submit' to Husbands

UPDATE #5! Huckabee: "Don't Mormons Believe That Jesus And The Devil Are Brothers?"
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