Which part of this don't you believe:
A 12-year-old girl called Rush Limbaugh during school hours and says she loves his "history" books.
Here's the parts no one can possibly believe:
- A 12-year-old listens to Rush Limbaugh.
- A girl listens to Rush Limbaugh.
- A 12-year-old girl listens to Rush Limbaugh.
- A 12-year-old girl listens to Rush Limbaugh even though he's on during school.
- A 12-year-old girl calls Rush Limbaugh during school hours when cell phones aren't allowed and you're on hold for hours.
- A girl calls Rush Limbaugh during school hours.
- Any child would call a talk radio show during school hours.
- A girl loves Rush Limbaugh's "history" books "The Adventures Of Rush Revere".
- Any child reads "The Adventures Of Rush Revere".
- "The Adventures Of Rush Revere" contains any accurate history.
- Any parents would actually buy "The Adventures Of Rush Revere" for their child (they should be jailed for torturing a child).
- A 12-year-old girl LOVES "The Adventures Of Rush Revere"
- Rush Limbaugh wrote this "book"
- Rush Limbaugh rode a horse as "Rush Revere" and didn't break the horse's legs due to his weight
Here is the actual transcript, "CALLER" is supposed to be a 12-year-old girl calling his show during school hours):
12-Year-Old: Rush Revere Helps Me in Class
October 17, 2014
BEGIN TRANSCRIPT (my comments are in RED):
RUSH: We have a 12-year-old on the phone named Madison from Oklahoma City calling about the Adventures of Rush Revere series. Hey, Madison, I'm glad that you got through today. How are you? (it takes HOURS to get through, my friend has called as an experiment and has waited HOURS and NEVER gotten through, EVER...so this 12-year-old girl, during school hours where cell phones aren't allowed, waited - where? btw - for HOURS and got on the Rush Limbaugh Show. If this was NOT a fake caller, a normal host would say, "HOW ARE YOU GETTING ON MY SHOW DURING SCHOOL? DOES THE SCHOOL AND YOUR PARENTS KNOW YOU'RE DOING THIS? WHAT IS THE NAME OF THE SCHOOL SO I CAN REPORT THEM FOR NOT KNOWING WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?")
CALLER: Good. How are you, Mr. Limbaugh?
RUSH: I'm just dandy now that you've called. You've put me in a good mood here, Madison, thank you. (12 year old girls calling my show during school get me DANDY & in a good mood)
CALLER: You're welcome.
RUSH: So what can I do for you? What's shaking? (hey little 12-year-old girl, WHAT'S SHAKIN'!!!!!)
CALLER: Well, I wanted to call and give my feedback (a 12-year-old girl says "give my feedback"???) on the Rush Revere series (a 12-year-old girl says "the Rush Revere series"???). I think it's a great book. With me being in seventh grade ("with me being in seventh grade" - make sure you tell the audience that!!!) it helps me with my history when I have to remember for a test or something.
RUSH: That's awesome. It's actually helping you in class. Well, there's a reason for that, Madison. It's because the books are loyal to the truth. (excuse me while I BARF, if this whole thing were true, she'd be FAILING history if she learns it from Rush Limbaugh. Unless one of the questions is: HOW MANY OF THE LEGS DID FAT-ASS RUSH REVERE BREAK ON HIS HORSE? )
CALLER: Yeah. But my parents have, on my dad's iPad they have the first two books and pre-ordered the third one. (this little 12-year-old girl doesn't want to watch cartoons or manga or anything else little girls do, she gets her dad to download "The Rush Revere Series" for her, we all know 12-year-old girls who do that!)
RUSH: Oh, really, you're reading them on an iPad?
CALLER: Yeah. (yeah, my DAD's iPad, weren't you listening? I steal HIS iPad and read "The Rush Revere Series, you dope, weren't you listening???)
RUSH: And you've already pre-ordered the third one? Well, that's just wonderful. Let's see. You're 12 years old , so you're right there in the target age-group. And people like you, Madison, are exactly why we're doing these books. But I bet your parents, your family pretty much, you have a lot of respect for America already, right? You love the country? (what a perfect call! the target age group of 12 years old, and she called the Rush Limbaugh Show during school hours! wow! I bet she's going to get TAZED & THROWN IN JAIL by school officials, they are super-strict about disappearing for hours during school! and wait until her PARENTS find out she's been ON HOLD for hours somewhere secretly in school waiting to get on the Rush Limbaugh Show! she's going to get GROUNDED after the school officials taze & jail her!)
CALLER: Yes. Whenever we read the books, at the end my mom always goes on the Internet, on the website, to get Liberty's answers and quizzes on the book to see if I was paying attention. (this is a FAKE MARKETING call which is really only to SELL RUSH's BOOKS, so make sure you explain the DETAILS of getting on the website & the "Liberty" answers & quizzes for the STUPID LISTENERS who might buy "The Rush Revere" series!!!)
RUSH: (laughing) And you always are, right? (HARDEE HAR HAR!!!)
RUSH: You are. Well, the new book is gonna be out October 28th. (now the REAL marketing starts!!! the new book is gonna be out October 28th!!! get rid of that FAKE CALLER RIGHT NOW while I put the finishing touches on my pitch!!!) You'll get it. If it runs for you the way it does for me, it will be like 11:30 or close to midnight on October 27th that you'll get an alert from the iTunes bookstore saying that the book is available for download. (yes: the last few sentences were totally IMPROMPTU, like when he said the day, date, exact time, iTunes, etc...TOTALLY UNREHEARSED!!!) And, Madison, let me tell you something. This one, I'm not ashamed to say, we're so excited about this one. I mean, it's really good. They're all good, but you try to make each one better, and as you get more experience doing them, you hope they do get better. (this one's REALLY GOOD!!!!!!!!! you better get your parents to DOWNLOAD IT for you!!! tell them not to forget to have their CREDIT CARD out!!!)
But this, we've combined things. We've combined actual history with a modern-day story (starring Rush Limbaugh?) relevant to the US military (possibly the US military is involved in this BULLSHIT? I should've known!!! they pump his channel into all the bases! I actually feel like getting this book so I could laugh my ass off.) , to whom the book is dictated. And we can't wait for people to see it. We can't wait for people to read it because we have high hopes that it's gonna provide a lot of comfort to military families (if you don't buy my book...YOU HATE THE MILITARY & AMERICA & LOVE THE TERRORISTS!!!). Rush Revere and the American Revolution. Madison (her name just "HAPPENS" to be the name of one of our first presidents, James Madison, did you notice? they were originally going to call the fake caller "JEFFERSON" but that would alienate Rush's listeners because his listeners are all older white males and they might think someone named "JEFFERSON" was black), thanks. Hang on, Mr. Snerdley needs to get an address from you, if you don't mind. (don't worry, there's no address for a FAKE CALLER)
It gets better folks: Limbaugh is pimping TWO products at the same time: his character in the "Rush Revere" "history" series is his character on "TWO IF BY TEA" that he ALSO pimps on his show:
"The illustrated history book, which is already listed for pre-sale on Amazon and will be available in October, stars “Rush Revere,” the Limbaugh-like cartoon character from his beverage line Two if by Tea, and may be developed into a larger series." ~ Fox "news" "book" "review".
So let's recap: "RUSH REVERE" is a character in his "history" children's books AND the cartoon spokesperson for his "TWO IF BY TEA" drinks!!!!!!!!!
So if you're STUPID enough to buy your kids a "history" book by Rush Limbaugh, it's really A MARKETING SCHEME TO SELL HIS "TWO IF BY TEA" PRODUCTS!!!!!!!!!
Probably, "Rush Revere" says he stopped while riding his horse, and because he was so thirsty, he cracked open an ice cold "Two If By Tea"!
Exclusive: Limbaugh’s parent company still using actors to fake radio call-ins, exec tells Raw
Some other Limbaugh FAKE CALLERS:
Rush Limbaugh FAKE CALLERS: punk rocker "DANGER"
21-Year-Old Woman "Conservative Atheist" Happens To Call Rush Limbaugh While He's Defending Mitt Romney's "Faith" Speech
HI, RUSH, I'M A BLACK GUY, AND I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAY (fake callers who are non-white identify themselves on Rush Limbaugh by saying, "I'm a black man", etc...btw, how on a RADIO SHOW do they have a picture of the black guy calling?):
Bill Hicks comedy skit about Rush Limbaugh:
DON'T FORGET TO BUY MY NEXT BOOK LITTLE GIRL AND BUY SOME OF MY "TWO IF BY TEA" BOTTLED TEA SO YOU CAN BE LIKE "RUSH REVERE" IN MY BOOK:
I have NEVER seen anyone with a bottle of "Two If By Tea". You have to be an IDIOT if you buy it and a BIGGER IDIOT to be SEEN with it: